Car-parks, confessions and cyber-sex

Right, last Saturday was a fail, just stayed in with Mr Argument (not drinking because we all know what happened last time we were drunk and alone) playing video games and watching films. Then on the Sunday I saw I watched films and that with a few friends from sixth-form. This was good but low-key, and not helping me meet new guys.

My ex and I have been talking on Facebook a bit, which is nice, because he was a big part of my life, and having no contact with him would be odd. He told me at the start of this week he's moving on, and is starting to see someone new. I had thought a while ago I might be jealous at this news, but when I heard it I actually felt happy for him and a bit relieved as it means I can move-on without feeling too guilty about leaving him behind. This new relationship though caused him to ask me something he'd been avoiding. I'll explain now, the reason me and my ex split was because I cheated on him and couldn't handle the betrayal/guilt. He knew I'd kissed the other guy on several occasions, but I hadn't explained exactly how far I'd gone. My Ex asked me how far I'd gone with the other guy while in the relationship. I was honest, it hurt him, of course it did, but it could've been worse. He appreciated my honesty while obviously being hurt by the original betrayal, and he's still talking to me somehow (He's just such a good guy, I really messed things up, whoops, but he deserves better than me) We'd been together 4 and a half years when we split, and apparently he was looking up trips to Paris with the idea of proposing to me. That was tough to hear, but I only have myself to blame.

Now onto car-parks... yeah it's not what you think you dirty people! I was going to go for a drink with Mr Bay (met him at Royal Mail with Mr Aviator) but he's skint, so we decided to go for a drive instead, which for nostalgia's sake ended up just going to the 24hr Asda. After work Mr Aviator, Mr Bay and I would go to Asda buy snacks (cookies in my case) and sit in the cars in the car-park eating them. So on Thurs Mr Bay and I sat chatting for over 2 hours in his car in Asda car-park. I realise now, to everyone else it must sound like a pathetic cover-up for doing naughty stuff, but genuinely, we were just eating, chatting and in his case smoking for a couple of hours. Yeah I know, not the sort of story you expected eh?

But hey, cyber-sex is bound to be an interesting story right? Well I'm not going into detail but I'll give you the background. Mr Music is the ex of my best friend from university Miss Wills (I don't talk to her any more after a massive falling out we had). Mr Music and I stayed in touch and when Miss Wills got a new boyfriend, we found we had a common dislike: her new boyfriend. Not exactly sure how it happened but (about a year and a half ago now) we started having explicit conversations online. After a while my guilt kicked in, and we stopped, removed contacts from everything and unfriended each other on Facebook. Thinking I'd matured we tried again to have a platonic friendship, he'd got a new girlfriend by this point, but old habits are hard to break. Again we removed contacts. I think this process happened another few times. After I broke up with my ex, I added him as a contact on an IM where webcam isn't possible (he's still in a relationship) and within an hour of our first conversation we were messaging explicitly. I think it's just one of those things now, we don't do it very often, but we're not actually doing anything, and would never act on it in real life (thankfully we won't see each other in real life so there's no risk there) The other day was note-worthy because the first time in mooooonths he added me on an IM with webcam. Yeah, it happened.
If you haven't tried it, you should. It's a good way to keep a long-distance relationship going and it's better than porn because you know it's you that's causing it.

Anyway... This week we get a leap-day! What am I doing with my extra day? Paragliding Job Interview! Am excited/nervous/apprehensive, could really do with getting this job. Wish me luck.

Oh gosh! Is that the time?! I have to get going! It's a friend's birthday party today; there's going to be jelly! (Vodka jelly of course, made by moi this morning) It's just my friends that are going to be there so no opportunity for expanding the 'pull pool' but it's going to be fun. I'm going to drink lots I think, not drunk in a while (not that I'm an alcoholic).

Enjoy your week x