Saturday, 25 February 2012

Car-parks, confessions and cyber-sex

Right, last Saturday was a fail, just stayed in with Mr Argument (not drinking because we all know what happened last time we were drunk and alone) playing video games and watching films. Then on the Sunday I saw I watched films and that with a few friends from sixth-form. This was good but low-key, and not helping me meet new guys.

My ex and I have been talking on Facebook a bit, which is nice, because he was a big part of my life, and having no contact with him would be odd. He told me at the start of this week he's moving on, and is starting to see someone new. I had thought a while ago I might be jealous at this news, but when I heard it I actually felt happy for him and a bit relieved as it means I can move-on without feeling too guilty about leaving him behind. This new relationship though caused him to ask me something he'd been avoiding. I'll explain now, the reason me and my ex split was because I cheated on him and couldn't handle the betrayal/guilt. He knew I'd kissed the other guy on several occasions, but I hadn't explained exactly how far I'd gone. My Ex asked me how far I'd gone with the other guy while in the relationship. I was honest, it hurt him, of course it did, but it could've been worse. He appreciated my honesty while obviously being hurt by the original betrayal, and he's still talking to me somehow (He's just such a good guy, I really messed things up, whoops, but he deserves better than me) We'd been together 4 and a half years when we split, and apparently he was looking up trips to Paris with the idea of proposing to me. That was tough to hear, but I only have myself to blame.

Now onto car-parks... yeah it's not what you think you dirty people! I was going to go for a drink with Mr Bay (met him at Royal Mail with Mr Aviator) but he's skint, so we decided to go for a drive instead, which for nostalgia's sake ended up just going to the 24hr Asda. After work Mr Aviator, Mr Bay and I would go to Asda buy snacks (cookies in my case) and sit in the cars in the car-park eating them. So on Thurs Mr Bay and I sat chatting for over 2 hours in his car in Asda car-park. I realise now, to everyone else it must sound like a pathetic cover-up for doing naughty stuff, but genuinely, we were just eating, chatting and in his case smoking for a couple of hours. Yeah I know, not the sort of story you expected eh?

But hey, cyber-sex is bound to be an interesting story right? Well I'm not going into detail but I'll give you the background. Mr Music is the ex of my best friend from university Miss Wills (I don't talk to her any more after a massive falling out we had). Mr Music and I stayed in touch and when Miss Wills got a new boyfriend, we found we had a common dislike: her new boyfriend. Not exactly sure how it happened but (about a year and a half ago now) we started having explicit conversations online. After a while my guilt kicked in, and we stopped, removed contacts from everything and unfriended each other on Facebook. Thinking I'd matured we tried again to have a platonic friendship, he'd got a new girlfriend by this point, but old habits are hard to break. Again we removed contacts. I think this process happened another few times. After I broke up with my ex, I added him as a contact on an IM where webcam isn't possible (he's still in a relationship) and within an hour of our first conversation we were messaging explicitly. I think it's just one of those things now, we don't do it very often, but we're not actually doing anything, and would never act on it in real life (thankfully we won't see each other in real life so there's no risk there) The other day was note-worthy because the first time in mooooonths he added me on an IM with webcam. Yeah, it happened.
If you haven't tried it, you should. It's a good way to keep a long-distance relationship going and it's better than porn because you know it's you that's causing it.

Anyway... This week we get a leap-day! What am I doing with my extra day? Paragliding Job Interview! Am excited/nervous/apprehensive, could really do with getting this job. Wish me luck.

Oh gosh! Is that the time?! I have to get going! It's a friend's birthday party today; there's going to be jelly! (Vodka jelly of course, made by moi this morning) It's just my friends that are going to be there so no opportunity for expanding the 'pull pool' but it's going to be fun. I'm going to drink lots I think, not drunk in a while (not that I'm an alcoholic).

Enjoy your week x

Sunday, 19 February 2012

Saturday Night Fail

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Why can't guys organise things? surely it's not that difficult. As you might've guessed my plans kinda fell through. So big night out was a very quiet night in of video games and films. Was alright. Pah. Fingers crossed for next week.

Saturday, 18 February 2012

I survived Valentine's!

Wooo! Go me! No crying. No kissing inappropriate men to cheer myself up. No binging on chocolate, cake and pastries. No rushing out to buy a cat for companionship. In fact I took the whole being single on Valentines very well, I spent most of the day wishing people happy Ferris Wheel Day (which for those who want an alternative to V-day also always falls on Feb 14th) I also explored the community of single girls blogging and tweeting. Best of all it gave me an excuse to contact a friend I hadn't spoken to in ages, I met Mr Finland at uni and we stay in contact with half-hour long phone-calls every few months and the odd visit. He's one of the few male friends I've managed to keep platonic.

So in celebration of my survival of one of the crappiest days of the year for singletons, I got myself a haircut! I have a fringe for the first time in ages, and it's a side-swipe fringe. I do feel if I'd not maintained the length of my hair and I changed my sexuality I'd be a prime candidate for LWLLJB. (I spend way too long on that site considering I'm straight and have a severe dislike for Justin Beiber) Here's my new hair-cut, I'm pleased with it, especially as my hairdresser is a family friend and it only cost me £10. BARGAIN!

Another awesome single thing I did this week was book a holiday to IBIZA! Wooooo! (oh dear that's the second woo in this post, I might be a little over-excitable today) I'm going with a couple of friends in June. They're not the sort that will help me pull, but will be up for drinking funtimes and all that, so should be good. Oh and for the last couple of days we're there Mr Vanilla and his friends (including Mr Media) are going to be in Ibiza too. I'm really excited, even if it cost me a lot of my savings and isn't for over 100 days. I'm just going to be singing the Venga Boys' song until the holiday. He he.

The sharp-eyed among you might have noticed I'm posting this in the afternoon, not the evening. "Why is that?" I hear you ask, we'll it's because I'm going out of course. Going over to Mr Argument and Mr Vanilla's place for drinkies then hopefully going out into town. We were meant to be doing that yesterday but Mr Argument was "just not feeling it", which sucks majorly because Mr Vanilla and his friends were all going out yesterday (not that I'm angling to see Mr Media again... well maybe a little, but it's mainly the more the merrier principle) Oh well, going to make the most of it tonight. Feeling good about myself with my new haircut and the snug support of my denim playsuit. If you're good, I might upload some pics later.

Have a good week x

Saturday, 11 February 2012

Keeping warm

Psssst! I have a secret. Now I remember why I haven't linked my real-world friends to this blog; so I can share stories like this that I'm not telling anyone else. You comfy? Got the hot beverage (or alcoholic beverage if that's how you roll) of your choice and biscuit/cookie to dip?

I went over Mr Argument's flat on Tuesday, just to play computer games and pool and socialise. We ended up drinking and I decided to crash there. Mr Argument is a friend; the sort of friend I go over to the house of and play games, drink and crash and that's it. That wasn't it. His house-mate, Mr Vanilla (I haven't found a particularly distinguishing feature to name Mr Vanilla after, hence the bland name), left to go to a film-night with his friends. So me and Mr Argument were left alone... you can see where this might be heading can't you? well we carried on drinking and playing games, but... (here it comes) ...then we kissed. Just a kiss, or two, or so, that's not so bad right? We were drunk, and both been lacking in attention for a while. That's not to say I'll tell my friends about it: I won't, especially as there's kind of a non-thing going on between me and one if his best friends (I'll save that story for another time)

I haven't yet mentioned his place is absolutely freeeezing! It's been about -4 degrees C at night (dunno what that is in F but it's below freezing) and with single-glazing, a lack of insulation and small radiators it doesn't feel much different in the flat. So, with our logical heads we could see no harm in sharing a bed, just to stay warm mind. Of course in our drunken state it got a little more than that, but not a lot more as I think we both knew we'd regret it in the morning if we did take it all the way. (Though now knowing he's so well endowed is going to play on my mind a little maybe) Then it turns out he's a total bed-hog, and I was feeling uncomfortable from the alcohol earlier, so rather than lying dead-straight on the few cm I had managed to hold onto of the bed I decided to move to the freezing living room. I got very little sleep due to the cold even in my mittens and scarf, but at least I had space to wriggle. I made a swift exit the following morning, but did have the decency to wake him first.

We're both quite pragmatic, but also we're the sort of people that are willing to ignore things for the sake of making everything easier. And it has been easier. I was out with him and some other friends last night, no mention or in fact no awkwardness regarding the situation at all. Was like any other night, and I crashed at his again, but I wasn't the only one this time and I was prepared with a thermal sleeping bag. I enjoyed last night, could've been the going out on the town for the first time in ages, could've been the other person that crashed at Mr A+V's...

One of Mr Vanilla's friends (let's call him Mr Media) stayed too, so we were both to sleep in the living-room. We had banter, hugs (for his warmth benefit of course :P) and kisses. I'm not sure if there's anything there, am starting to think I should've given him my number just in case. We'll see, he may never be mentioned again, or he may reappear, just thought I'd say.

See you next week x

Saturday, 4 February 2012

Plans and Problems

Hey, so another Saturday and I’m in front of my TV again, but lacking the ice-cream and the power of the remote control. This week has been even more socially-void than last, which I hadn’t even realised was possible, but at least it gave me a chance to make some plans. Want to hear my (work in progress) list of things to do before I’m thirty? Okay, here they are:

  1. Skydive
    Shouldn't be too difficult to arrange, Mr Aviator has been talking about it for a while.
  2. Visit 2+ more of the 7 continents: þEurope þAfrica þN. America ¨S. America ¨Asia ¨Australia (et al) ¨Antartica
    It's a life-long ambition to visit (even briefly) all of the continents, so I feel by 30 I ought to be well on my way
  3. Go skinny-dipping
    Wanted things that are fun and realistic
  4. Find a man I want to spend the rest of my life with
    Then again I put something that is going to take a lot of work
  5. Scuba diving
    Would be fun
  6. Learn to drive
    Not really bothered about driving, but feel I probably should've done by the age of 30
  7. Have a home of my own
    I've always wanted to put my stamp on a place, want somewhere I can call mine.
  8. Bungee jumping
    Would looove to do this
  9. Swim with sharks
    Think of the adrenalin rush!
  10. Wake-up unable to remember the previous night
    Somehow I always remember the night before, no matter how drunk I get or how bad the hangover is.
  11. Get a tattoo?
    Not sure about this one, will I feel like a failure if I don't? Nope. But am tempted to get a little '42' somewhere discreet.
  12. Be much less vegetarian
    I'm currently a 'recovering vegetarian' In the last year I've gone from ovo-lacto-vegetarian to a pescetarian, and knowing how good bacon and ribs are I eventually want to be able to work my way up to eating pork again.
  13. Learn 'holiday' spanish
    I can speak a bit of French, enough German to get by, but my Spanish is almost non-existent so would like to learn enough to make holidays to Spanish-speaking countries easier.
  14. Try to break a world record at something
    Just so I could say I tried.
  15. Visit Paris
    Been to France many times, but never visited its capital. I really want to.
Less than 9 years to do these in! I better get started... and I think number 4 is going to take some time, so better start kissing some frogs to find my prince. (HA! the corniness of that made me laugh)   I'll let you know how my efforts on that front go eh?

The observant among you may have noticed I mentioned problems in the title of this post. I've got a couple but don't want to ramble and this post is long enough as it is. My most pressing problem is 'Mr Larper'. As his name suggests he's a massive geek, this in itself doesn't bother me, I've got loads of geeky friends and he's a very nice . The problem is I see him as a friend, I'm not attracted to him at all, but he definitely has a thing for me. He's been flirting online and as I'm naturally a little flirty, and I suppose just find it fun, I've kind of been encouraging him. *shame* Yes I know, it's bad of me. He wanted to meet up last week, but despite my insane boredom I got out of it, somehow. I need to make it clear I'm not interested whilst maintaining the banter of our conversations.

On an up-note the problem that was the situation with Mr Aviator is already on its death-bed, but I think the final nail in the coffin for that problem is that Mr Aviator is moving town tomorrow and getting a new job, so I won't be seeing him for a long while. Oooh! And I've discovered a way to appear offline to certain people on Facebook chat, so no desperate-sounding messages should be heading his way. Sorted. :)

This next week should be good, my friend 'Mr Film' is coming back from a month with his girlfriend, and the friend I mentioned last week ('Mr Argument' as I've just named him) moved into his new place today, so I'll probably see each of them this week.